Bring the South Down

FINALLY IT IS HERE. I've been calling this Saturday 'Christmas' (no offense to sweet Baby Jesus).

I honestly don't know why I am predicting a NU victory. But I am. I'm just an optimistic kid (call me the anti-Jon). But I just have a really good feeling. Like when you were 10 and you know that sooner or later you will get to the Hot Wheel at the bottom of the Coco Crispys, and you just have a gut feeling that the bowl you are about to pour is going to be THE ONE. Well, I think that Nebraska is destined for the first signature win of the B.C. era, and I think this might be that bowl of chocolaty deliciousness that gets us there.

For all of you that say we don't have a chance, wake up. If you don't think we have a chance, I don't want to talk to you. You don't get it. You aren't fun. You are Mr./Mrs. Suckass from East Bitchville, PA. Do you really think that the cereal manufactures would build up the Hot Wheel and then not put one in the box? Really? That is just cold. I hate you. THERE HAS TO BE A GODDAMN HOT WHEEL IN THIS F-ING BOX!

Just remember, NU was 17 point dogs to FSU in '93. That's my go-to game for this situation (despite the fact FSU technically won). That game was like finding a mail-in-coupon for a Hot Wheel. We didn't get the Hot Wheel, but everybody knew we had earned it and would soon possess a rad toy car.

Besides, USC ain't shit. They should be ranked behind LSU, OU, and maybe even UT and Florida (hello, defending National Champs here). They lost to Oregon State last year. Their coach is a bigger buffoon than our coach, not to mention half as smart. They ain't shit.

Their buffoon coach said that the crowd noise will not be a problem for USC. I betcha $5 he is wrong. I think they are underestimating us. I hope so anyway.

Now let me ask a real scary question: What if we win?
Holy schnikey, that would lead to total chaos in Huskerland. Dogs and cats living together. Would we have to start dreaming of a trip to the dance? Yes, I think that if we beat USC we would have to start dreaming about a trip to the dance. Yep.

Well, even I'm not optimistic enough to be thinking about that right now (for the record I think we should be playing for crystal by 2010 or 2011).

Here's how it plays out (in my head):

• We come out throwing on first downs (the Benny Muss key to victory). We continue throwing throughout the first half. Keller spreads the ball around. Getting 7 yards here and 15 yards there. We run only on 2nd & short or 3rd & 1. Why? Because we will not have a chance if we try and run it down their throat. If I thought Bill was dumb enough to try and run on USC from the start (ala LA Colisium in 2006), I would be predicting USC 40 NU 10. I hope Cally is not that dumb.
• We hit a homerun ball in the 1st half. I will guess Keller to Swift for a 40 yard TD.
• HUGE special teams play from Grixby, my favorite return man since Gross.
• Lucky and Q.C. take over towards the end of the 3rd and throughout the 4th. (Q.C.'s spin move is just flat awesome. Watch for it. I SAID WATCH FOR IT!). Q.C. will be the fan-favorite by the end of the season and maybe after this game.
• I pray they throw at ZBow and I think they are too cocky not to. Count on another big pick from him.
• Keller throws for 350. Lucky runs for 65 tough yards. Q.C. runs for 75 and a long TD run. Watch out for his spin move.
• NU will overcome failing on 2-3 trick plays (SC has to know it is coming).
  USC will make 5 or 6 bonehead decisions on offence and our defense will bend but not break.
• I will not be as drunk as I was at the Nevada game (I watched the game for what seemed like the first time on TIVO the next day). Lucky was not as impressive as the numbers said. He just doesn't have the "it" factor. Good, yes. Ahman/L.P. good, nope. Maybe BJax good (maybe better, maybe worse). Anyway, my point is I will be soberer.
  

NU 33
USC 24

But keep this in mind: Even if we lose, we still get to eat the delicious bowl of cereal that is college football saturday.